Fat. Black + Necessary. I dare you to say different.
I don't believe that anyone will die single from having options or not being attractive. I don't believe that you have to settle for romantic partners that are not aligned with your desires. I don't believe that you need to shape shift yourself to be desirable. I don't believe that you have to always be "on" in order to be sexy or attractive. I don't believe in this idea that only "some women" just don't have "it".
Perhaps because for a long time I believed that to be true about myself. I thought I was the antithesis of everything sexy. I was severely bullied. I didn't really understand this concept of self-love. Didn't end up in great relationships. Had partners comment on how I had gained weight and had become unattractive to them. Then when it came to my career choice of wanting to be an actor, after years of training, I was told in no uncertain terms that heavy, dark skin black women were not getting work at a young age and so I settled in that defeat.
And one day, or after a series of FTS moments, I just got tired. I got tired of masking my bitterness as strength. I got tired of not having my hope. I got tired of living in my past. I got tired of letting dumb mfs rip my self-esteem apart. I got tired of letting the world tell me what was and was not fucking possible for my life.
So, I sit here today, as we are going into production this weekend for the teaser of The Sex Is a God Thing Webseries, and all this anxiety about my body being on film again is rising up. All the bullshit, all the lies, all the heartbreak is coming to the surface and I'm staring at it and saying "They were wrong about you,mama".
Fiercely, unrelentingly reminding myself of my value and my worth in this world. My visibility, my loving myself, my pleasure, my unwillingness to be quite and small is the fight I need to show up and show out in my life.
Why would I sit here and tell myself to accept the shit that rips my soul apart as truth?
Why would I side with people who've attempted to break my spirit?
Why would I nestle my soul in alignmemt with a truth that I am not worthy or desirable or sexy or wanted or needed in this world?
Giving up how YOU define yourself is the ultimate death. It's the place where you discard yourself before anyone else can.
I don't give a single fuck what the world says about Fat, Black Women. I give a damn what we say about ourselves.
There are people in this world that know what a blessing you are. There are people in this world who would melt to just be in your presence. There are people in this world who thrive seeing you thrive. But first you have to become one of those people for YOU.
Fat. Black and still Necessary + Desirable in this world.
and if they don't think so or they can't see it....
Fuck. Them.ant to learn more about how I stopped myself from dying in the disappointment? Listen to this 20 minute coaching video to grab some helpful tips.
Want to reclaim your vibrancy,joy, sex appeal? Want to feel more alive and radiant in the body you have right now? Join me for the Reclaiming Your Sexy workshop tour 2018. See full details and grab your tickets click the link below. Early bird sales end February 16th!