If you want to experience more joy and playfulness in your body & romantic relationship you have to consciously surrender the shame and embrace your erotic self as sacred. Shame & Ecstasy cannot co-exist. Shame derails us from knowing the profound connection and the healing power of intimacy with ourselves & with our partners. When we consciously work to let go of the rules of shame + respectability politics that's when we step into devotion with Ecstasy.
The rules that were created to keep us close God (Spirit/Universe/ Rightness) do the very opposite by driving a wedge of chaos + guilt between our bodies + spirit. We've come to see our bodies as these secular + divisive tools of destruction (meant to be hidden and locked away) vs. sacred temples intended for adoration, worship and spiritual awakening. The erotic self is sacred - and not sacred as in off limits or inaccessible to ordinary souls but sacred as in integral, necessary or an intentional piece of the puzzle.
How can the very vessel that brings tangible life into this world not be sacred? How can the love making movement that creates life not be sacred? How can creating consistent connection with the person you share your life with not be sacred? How can finding your erotic self not be sacred? Your erotic self is a fuel and an energy that creates more joy. In order to experience that joy in your relationship you have to create new rules to live by around intimacy.
I suggest starting with this as your first rule : Pleasure is the path back to God.
Intimacy Coach & Writer