A few weeks ago I shared with you all that I was going through a breakup. The pictures above are a just a little snapshot of my experiences since then. This isn't my norm. Normaly when some major or unexpected transiition happens in my life it takes me down for the count. I usually fumble and stumble my way forward only grasping to small moments of joy. I end up carrying that pain with me on my back. I knew that this time I truly needed to do something different because if I didn't I would probably just sad myself into isolation.
I'm playing with this process of grieving through pleasure. I have to thank Elizabeth Dialto from WildSoulMovement for the prompt into this exploration. In a recent post around her own breakup she shared "These different emotions can co-exist. You can be grieving and really excited about something at the same time. One does not deny the other". The norm in our culture is that when something life changing happens pleasure and grief don't co-exist or we avoid pleasure because in some way it feels wrong to want joy while also going through a bad time. After these last few weeks of my own exploration I believe that we need the exact opposite when we are going through a trying time : more pleasure, more joy & more ecstatic experiences. It's easy to go to the end of the grieving spectrum that's all dark nights, crying, deep withdrawl and you definitely may need some of that for sure in order to release - give yourself that. The other end of the spectrum of grief is fighting the gravitational pull and curating positive experiences even when your mind wants to dwell in the past. In the blend of this spectrum we bring new energy into our lives and ultimately begin the shift.
It's been such a long time since I've actually seen my smile come through like this or felt so alive in my body. I've tried to document each experience as I go along so I can remember this for future times when life takes a hard left.
So what does this have to do with hoenaningans right? lol
Out to lunch with my girlfriends recently we started a little pact to hoe for the summer. Now, my more prude readers might be super turned off by this but I think my true #womanuntamed loves know where I am headed with this. There was so much excitement and laughter as we sat down over lunch making a little score board for our wins : getting someone's number, making out, having mind blowing orgams. I have to note that we also docked points for not making time friends, catching feelings and jumping into relationships lol. All lighthearted good fun just to keep us on our toes. One of the gals is married so obvi some of the wins don't apply to her but she still can play along and I have to say she is killing it.
It's been so fucking dope trading our wins back and forth. The ultimate 20 pts text := great sex is absolutely my favorite. If you're looking for a fun way to reconnect with your girls and encourgage each other to have more fun start your own hoenaningans game with your own rles and point system. I'd love to see your scoreboards! :)
We've only been doing this for a few days but a huge message came to me with this game. Hoenaningans can obviously take on so many different meanings. Maybe for one woman it means casual sex without shame. Maybe it means letting all your inner hoe out for your partner who you haven't connected with sexuall in a year. Maybe it's planning a fun vacation with your girls. Maybe it's letting yourself entertain a new boo and receiving that new energy with excitement vs. anxiety. It can mean anything but ultimately it's about not dying in the disappointments and stress that life can throw at you and allowing yourself to have as much fun as possible again.
When I think of hoeing I think of an individual that is all about their own agenda, their own pleasure and be the central force in their world. I've always been enamored with people who could entertain multiple lovers, enjoyed being social, created adventures for themselves and so much more. You could see the life pulsating through them. And I wanted that in my own way. I know that hoe has obvi negative conatations but I think there's plenty of space for us to reclaim it as so much more. We'll talk more in upcoming posts about what it means to be #prohoe.
Over the coming weeks i'll also be sharing more of my own epicstories from my hoenaningans journey with my girlfriends, new lovers and my own personal unfolding.
A peak at the upcoming stories....
Finding myself at a real life(50ShadesofGrey Style) BDSM Dungeon
My First Date Post Breakup
How Not To Be A ReBound Asshole
Making Out In The Parking Lot at Your Job.
Crying Myself To Sleep
Accepting The Lessons I Failed To Learn with You
I can't wait to share more with you all.
I want to hear your thoughts!!! Reply to this email and/or hit me up on Facebook :)
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