That's pretty much the sum of what many women have learned about their sexuality.
This phrase and others like it teach girls a few lessons that can be difficult to unlearn as we get older:
We're taught that our sexuality is not our own but the possession of our future partner
We're taught that autonomy equates basically to death because if you aren't able to have someone marry you then you're not worthy or valuable
We're taught to base all of our life decisions around our body on someone else's validation of our worthiness for love
We're taught that in order to be a good wife we have to be disconnected from the essence of our being until we are chosen
We're taught that we can't trust ourselves to explore our sexuality & sensuality
We're taught to automatically experience shame around our sexuality vs. celebration because living in fear of our bodies is better than being too connected.
We're taught to disconnect from our bodies therefore to never trust our intuition or internal guidance.
So where did that leave many of us in finding a healthy way to explore and connect to the very essence of our being?
Some of us snuck around and got into dangerous situations. Some of us repressed the desire to explore it out of fear of literally dying. Some of us explored openly and rebelliously. Some of us experienced rape and manipulation at the hands of people older than us.. Some of us became mothers. Some of us had abortion(s). Some of us gave children up for adoption. Some of us lived with our abusers. Some of us ran from home. Some of us ran from God. Some of us abstained until marriage to become the perfect wife only to be unhappy. Some of us slowly died. Some of us aged far beyond our years.
The experiences vary from woman to woman. But If you ask any of us somewhere near the top of the list of "things not to do" you would find "Not being Fast" in the number one spot or in close competition.
The "Fast Girl" archetype is something that we all need. She will literally save your life, your relationship and if it's strained enough even your relationship with God.
The Fast Girl archetype is the energy within us that is devoted to pleasure, to voracious curiosity, to love that starts with her own desires, to expansion, to being able to feel. The Fast Girl archetype is the energy within us in her most raw form is closest to God because she is constantly stripping back the layers of obstacles that prevent her from experiencing intimacy with visceral ecstasy. That visceral ecstasy to her is the energy of God and it's through connecting to that intimacy whether with her chosen lover, through her self-adornment, through her self-care, through devotion, through her dance, through her cutting ties that she finds her power and strength to live again.
A lot of women experience shame when reconnecting to this part of themselves. I can't even say I don't give a fuck about the shame and judgement anymore. My honest truth is that I am aware of the shame that rips me away from my power at times. It's vicious and unrelenting. I question everything. And somewhere along the way I have a holy grail experience with my sexuality and my body and remember that without this visceral connection to my Divinity, I die. Not just spiritually but I see the impact that numbness has on my health. When I'm tapped out, I don't have the energy or will to care. I don't have the will to live when I am numb. So instead of the quick and catchy I don't give a fuck answer and neither should you, I would like to give about shame I will be honest. Shame fucks me up just like everyone else. And then I choose to come out of it's death grip and take my life back. I choose to remember that my sexuality, my body, my aliveness is integral to my longevity. I choose to not be numb even at the cost of having to wrestle myself on each level out of the grips of shame.
I want you take about 15 minutes with your journal by candlelight today and answer the following questions. When you're ready or if you feel comfortable sharing in a safe space. I want you to join us over in the private Woman Untamed Sisterhood. Click here to join.
How do you feel in your body about your sexuality and sensuality on a day to day basis?
When you think about experiencing pleasure what are some of the first thoughts that come up?
What things bring you pleasure on a daily basis?
What's the vision that you have for yourself as far as how you connect to your sexuality?
Whats the hesitation or fear about owning your sexuality boldly?
In my masterclass "Shamelessly Sexy" I'm going to talk about the key reasons why we end up bouncing back in forth in our ability to own our bodies + our pleasure and how that creates stagnancy in our lives and relationships. I'll also be sharing practical + spiritual tools on how to navigate shame when it starts coming to the surface. If you are interested in attending drop your information below to be contacted about upcoming class dates.