Body Confidence and self love are ongoing journeys. Can I tell you all the truth? It took me a long time to say that I was plus size. It took me even longer to embrace that as a positive. I looked at my body one day after taking a shower and I cried. The intrusive thoughts of others people's opinions about my body as a dancer and as an actor over the years came in like a flood.
At 11 I was told I was too fat to ever be taken seriously and would never be a dancer. This teacher who was too much of dick to realize he was one talking to a child and two that size didn't have to be a barrier especially if you have drive and potential. I went on to keep dancing but noticing that I was not only working hard to prove myself as a young dancer but that I was even good enough to be in room because of my size. I could feel the tension and disgust some teachers and choreographers had for me when I walked in the room.
I think a part of me disconnected from my body in attempts to hang on to my talent. I was always striving to be "other" than what I was. I was always living outside of my body. I was always yearning to be seen as someone else so people could see my talent and not my body. Yet I was constantly met with comments like "you're so talented for a big girl" or "big girl can dance" or "wow you would never think you could move like that" or "you can really dance like those smaller girls". The standard for greatness was something always other than me or someone who looked like me. Absorbing that as a child was painful. That day looking in the mirror I made a decision to make a change.
Living disconnected from the body can cause lifelong mental health and physical issues. Not only was I constantly anxious but I battled depression and other health concerns. I took a look at my body this year with new eyes. I asked God to guide me into a compassionate relationship with my body. I asked for courage to step forward not inspite of my body but in my body. I asked for the ability to channel my pain and my rage into creativity and grace for someone else. I asked to see myself as great in this body right here right now. I asked for guidance in really seeing myself as worthy. I want the same for you.
My upcoming masterclass "Shamelessly Sexy" is dedicated to creating a safe space for you to fall in love with the body that you're in right now so you can: +feel good naked
+Love what you see in the mirror
+Share your body with your love without getting lost in negative thoughts
+Stop waiting until you're thinner to live
+Stop comparing yourself to other women and really feel your own greatness right now
+Reclaim your strength and stop succumbing to other people's opinions of you.
I'm bringing this workshop to the following cities this Fall/Winter
New York 11/19
San Francisco 12/10
Photo Credit: Cassie Hill